Knife edge
by KebbyElizabeth
Summary: Spencer, Aria, Hanna and Emily are haunted by the death of their friend and it sends their life spiralling into deep and dark places. No A, sort of. M/M F/F F/M ect
1. Just keep smiling

"Ms. Montgomery, are you listening?"

Aria glanced up at the aged face of her therapist. His smile made his blue eyes light up like a Summer sky and the corners crinkle like old newspaper. She wasn't sure if it was reassuring or creepy. There was something about his goatee, how does one get their facial hair that flat?

Her parents, sat with fidgeting hands either side of her, were also smiling. That, she decided, was creepier of his smile.

"I'm sorry?"

"I wanted to let you know before I made it official. From Monday, you will no longer be a full-time patient of Landspitali University Hospital."

It took her a moment to register what he was saying, his accent made it sound soft, and like a question. "Excuse me?"

"In my professional opinion, you no longer require full time care from us. I'm recommending your discharge."

"That's… that's…"

"Fantastic news!" Ella grinned. Her wide smile showed every tooth. She glanced at her daughter, and her smile faltered. "Isn't it, honey?"

Aria swallowed heavily. "Yeah… I mean yeah," with effort she forced her muscles to pull her lips into a smile. "Fantastic."

Dr. Einarsson took a form from the inside cover of Aria's folder and handed it across his desk. "Wonderful, Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery – if you will just sign here I can begin the paperwork immediately."

Their pens flew across the page as though they had minds of their own. Her parents were so happy, shouldn't she be happy too? A year of appointments at a mental institution miles from her home was not considered something that a fifteen-year-old girl would aspire to – and now it was over. It just… it didn't feel over.

She remembered the overheard conversation that had landed them here in the first place. Her parents, hushed behind closed doors, worried for the way their daughter had retreated from them. Whispers about Allison… Allison… and the girls who had been the last to see her alive. Her mother thought that that was all it was. Greif and the stress of losing a friend. Her father… his eyes still swam in guilt, knowing he might have contributed to his daughter's breakdown.

It was him who had suggested Iceland. Something about a specialist. A way to get away from Rosewood. _A way to get away from Meredith_.

"… that is if you planned to return to Rosewood."

Aria's attention snapped back to the present. "What?"

Bryon's brow furrowed. "We can go home, if you like?"

"I'll be sending your file to the Radley Sanatorium, they will be continuing with your outpatient treatment. I feel the best thing for you now will be a return to normality," the therapist said, slowly.

Normal. What the hell was that?

* * *

Hanna Merin handed over ten dollars to the cashier and gave him a large and friendly smile. He was cute. A winning blonde hair cut and brown eyes that resembled swirling pools of chocolate. He barely took a second look, though, instead he pushed the box of cupcakes towards her and grunted something about having a nice day at her. Her smile faltered.

She wasn't even half way home when her hand pulled the last of the four cupcakes from the box. Before it touched her lips, she stopped. _Four cupcakes in less than twenty minutes._ Her hand trembled and the cupcake fell to the ground, blue icing turned gritty in a matter of seconds. Hanna swallowed thickly and stepped over the mess before her brain could convince her to pick it up. _What is wrong with me?_

For the rest of the walk home she kept her hands buried deep in her pockets and her eyes cast down at the pavement. It didn't take long for her to reach her front door. With one hand hovering over the door handle she heard it. The yelling.

"Christ Ashley, I was at work!"

"Were you though? I called your office Tom, they had no idea where you were!"

A pause and then. "I was at a client's house."

"Which one?"

"Does it matter? I'm so sick of this."

A door slammed. The sounds of a woman stifling sobs.

Hanna sucked in a large breath before pushing the door. She plastered a smile on her face. "Mom! Are you home?"

She heard her mom jump around the kitchen. Perhaps dabbing at her make up in the mirror, swiping the tears from her face, straightening her clothes and coughing the edge from her voice. She allowed enough time for this before walking in. Hanna wouldn't want anyone walking in on her crying, and neither would her mother.

"Hi darling," she said, voice cracking slightly. She cleared her throat. "How… how was school?"

"It's getting better," Hanna said. "No-one stares anymore."

Ashley forced a smile. "That's great! What do you want for Dinner? There's a new Chinese place in town. We could go there?"

The cupcakes sat heavily in Hanna's stomach. Nausea rose in her chest and yet her mouth watered at the thought. She shook her head. "Yeah sure…. Where's Dad?"

This caused a twitch on Ashley's face. Hanna pretended not to notice. "At work," she said, far too quickly. "It'll just be us girls."

After dinner Hanna excused herself to her room. The food felt like a rock in her stomach. She leant against her door, blinking tears from her eyes. The waist of her jeans cut into her hips like metal handcuffs. Allison's words became the only thing she could think about. Spinning around, faster and faster in her mind until before she could even stop herself she was leaning over the toilet in the bathroom, and the contents of her stomach became the contents of the porcelain bowl.

 _That's it Han_ , it said, _make it all go away._

She fell backwards onto the tile floor. Her eyes watered and her throat burned. Her heart pounded in her chest like a jackhammer. Every beat was hard enough to bruise.

At the edge of her hearing she heard the front door open and the heavy footfalls of her father enter. He came up the stairs and past the bathroom without looking inside. It wouldn't have been hard to see her, she hadn't locked the door, he could have seen. Could have helped.

When he walked back he was carrying a suitcase.

"Tom?"

"…Ashley, I thought… weren't you supposed to have a business dinner?"

The silence that followed was deafening.

When the door shut behind him it sounded like an explosion.

* * *

Spencer paced back and forth across the living room floor. She muttered her speech under her breath, practising every angle her parents could possibly throw at her. She was so involved in her thoughts that she didn't even hear them returning, and practically jumped out of her skin when she turned and found them watching her from the kitchen.

Her mother was speaking so rapidly into her phone that Spencer could barely even understand her. Peter, however, was watching his daughter carefully, tracking her movements with an uneasy precision. Ever since _that thing_ her parents were always watching her.

"Spencer," her dad nodded.

"Dad," she replied, swallowing heavily. Before she could change her mind, she forced out the next words. "I'm glad you came home together. Actually, I wanted to ask…"

Veronica waved a hand dismissively and Spencer's mouth snapped shut. Frustration flared in her mind and her hands balled themselves into fists by her sides. With white knuckles she made herself smile, made herself relax the muscles in her neck, made herself wait while her mother finished her phone call.

Thirty-five minutes later she was half way through her third coffee when her mother hung up the phone.

"How was school?" she said, almost as an afterthought as she pulled two waters from the fridge. The second of the two she passed to Peter.

"Did you get on the AP Latin class?"

Spencer nodded. "I did, that's what I wanted to talk to you about actually."

Her father waved the bottle in a 'go on' motion before opening it and taking a long swig. His wife laid a hand on his shoulder and focused her attention too. It made her skin crawl.

"I was wondering… well I just thought… I thought it could be cool if…" _fuck, get it together Spence_. The next sentence fell out of her mouth. "Can I move into the loft outside?"

Like mirror images her parents furrowed their brows and tilted their heads. Veronica set her water bottle down on the table and pulled her perfectly styled brown hair behind her ears. The silence spanned just long enough to break Spencer's nerve, but before she could open her mouth to take back her request her father nodded.

"Sure Spence," he said. Her heart dropped into her feet. That worked? "The chance to mature could be good – provided you have a 4.0 in all your classes. Oh, and there's an internship at the firm, isn't there? Next Summer."

Oh.

"I'm sure we could get Ann to take you on," Veronica added. "Melissa did something like that didn't she?"

"Captain of the Field Hockey team," Peter corrected.

Of course.

"Okay Spence," he said. "We can revisit this at the end of next semester," he glanced at his watch. "I've got to go."

In the next moment, he'd kissed his wife on the cheek and left. The weak smile on Spencer's face was beginning to make her cheeks ache. In the back of her mind she was painfully aware of the three assignments that were due next week. One of the require that she read a whole book in the next four days. Maybe if she could convince Mrs. Goodfell to postpone her test on Tuesday she could get the last few hundred words done for that Science essay… or studying could wait until tomorrow morning. If she got up an hour earlier she could spend some time in the library before school.

She didn't even notice her mother leaving until she spoke. "You made those try-outs for Hockey the other day, right?"

But she was gone before Spencer could answer.

The try-outs. How could she forget? Of course, she'd made it. Run all the way there after handing in the extra credit for Maths. Practise started that next week. When would she find time for studying for that test now?

Her head began to throb.

She stumbled upstairs to her room. Panic began to rise in her chest and she had to get away before it could take over. Every breath felt like burning in her lungs. She couldn't speak. Couldn't see.

Spencer half walked, half fell to her bed and knelt to the floor. In short, jerky movements she dug a locked box out from beneath the frame and cradled it in her lap. The keys for in were buried in her drawer. She didn't remember opening it but the next minute she was staring at the remnants of _that thing._

Sat in the bottom was a bottle of pills.

SPENCER JILL HASTINGS

ADDERALL (AMPHETAMINE)

1 DOSE 1 OR 2 TIMES DAILY

She stared at it for what seemed like an age before a shaky hand reached forward and pale fingers curled themselves around the orange bottle. There were only six pills left. Not many. Could she get more? They wouldn't be prescribed to her anymore.

At first, she only took one. After a brief pause, a second soon followed.

They hadn't even hit her stomach before she had pulled out her books.

When her eyes next caught sight of the clock it was seven hours later and four o'clock in the morning. Amazingly she wasn't even starting to feel tired. Two completed essays sat at the foot of her bed and she was already most of the way through the third.

Everything was going to be fine.

* * *

Just as Emily was about to pull the door of her locker open, a hand shot passed her shoulder and pushed it closed. She knew who it belonged to without turning around. Her lips twitched into a reluctant smile. Slowly she turned. There wasn't much further that she could move – her personal space severely restricted by the looming body of Ben Coogan.

"Emily Fields," he drawled. "Looking mighty fine today."

"Thanks."

His eyes scoured her body. Every inch of her skin crawled at the feeling of his breath on her face. Nothing about him was attractive. Not his hard and unforgiving body. Not his swampy, dark eyes. Not his slimy smile or his smile that doesn't reach his eyes or his greasy, full-of-product hair.

Allison had been so different. So, soft and warm. Nothing coming even close to the itchy way his attention made her feel.

 _Don't think about Allison._

"So, what do you say?"

"What? I mean, sure."

"Great," he said. "I'll pick you up at seven."

He'd gone before she could ask what he was picking her up for. All she knew what that there was a great feeling of dread in her stomach. She hugged her textbooks tightly to her chest and forced herself to breathe.


	2. My old friend

Spencer Jill Hastings was not okay. Her head was pounding in time with her rapid heart rate. It hurt to open her eyes to more than slits. Swallowing was difficult. The first day of school and she looked like someone strung out on drugs.

 _You are strung out on drugs._

She sucked her lower lip into her mouth and bit down hard. The pain was reassuring. Solid. Real. She rolled another pill onto her tongue before she had even made the conscious decision to do so. Immediately she felt her heart rate slow, by the time she left the house she was feeling almost like herself.

"Spencer, do you want a ride to school?" Veronica called as she reached the end of her drive way.

Her head jolted up. Her mother was as pressed and perfect as always. Form fitting, black pencil skirts and a classy yet attractive white blouse. Every strand of shiny brown hair had its place and there wasn't a molecule of blush out of place. Spencer ran her hand self-consciously through her frizzy bed hair.

"No, thanks," she said, a weak smile taking far too much effort.

"Don't be silly, come on, I'm driving that way anyway."

Veronica didn't wait for a response. Spencer followed out of habit.

Spencer couldn't tell if the journey took five minutes or five hours but the second they pulled up outside of the school she was out of the car before her mother could utter a goodbye. The large arches above the doors loomed above her like a bad omen. A building that used to provide such comfort and such affirmation now only heralded anxiety and foreboding.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been standing still until a small voice floated into her ears.

"Spencer?"

It was familiar. So familiar. Yet, when she turned around to find the owner of the voice she still experienced shock. "Aria? Oh my God."

The tiny human offered a smile. Spencer closed the distance between them with the intention of hugging her but stopped short. It had been a year since they had seen each other and there had barely been so much as a text message since then. Guilt pooled in her stomach.

She had changed. There was no longer a rebellious strip of pink in her hair and no sparkle in her eyes. In fact, the girl had lost weight, and her face was drawn and tired.

Aria was making her own study. There was something different about Spencer too. The way her hands fidgeted at her sides and the fact that her eyes couldn't seem to stay on one place for more than a couple of seconds.

"When did you get back?" Spencer offered, after a silence that was much too long. "How was Iceland?"

The smaller girl pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "It was great, a really… adventure," she laughed. "And just last week actually."

"Why didn't you call me?"

Aria shrugged. "Where are the others? Do you still all meet on the front steps? I figured that's why you were just standing there."

"Not exactly, a lot has changed while you've been gone," she replied slowly. "We didn't just lose touch with you – but…"

Before she could finish her sentence a soft-top two seater roared its way past, screeching to a halt a few metres down the road. Out of the driver's seat stepped a tall, raven haired girl with a top of the line handbag and heels that could only be described as far too tall. However, it was the girl striding from the passenger side that really caught Aria's attention.

Hanna Merin pulled the strap of her designer handbag higher on her shoulder, adjusted the way her sunglasses were sitting on her nose and flipped her long, wavy, blonde hair. It was almost like slow motion. Aria watched, slack jawed, as the pair waltzed into the school, barely even noticing anyone around them.

She turned back to Spencer, unable to form words.

Spencer just rolled her eyes. "Don't even ask."

"Hanna, and… Mona? When? What? How?"

The bell tolled, signalling that the girls were on their way to being very late.

…..

"Good Morning," Ben drawled into Emily's ear.

She resisted the urge to jump out of her skin attempt to fit her entire self into the locker and disappear. He ran his finger along her spine and pressed his body closer to hers. His jeans did nothing to disguise the boner forming against the small of her back.

"Hey," she muttered.

When she turned to face him, she was greeted instantly by the feeling of his rough lips pressing to hers. She broke the kiss quickly, too quickly, he narrowed his eyes.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she said quickly, too quickly. "I have to get to class."

Emily squeezed past him and dashed away, ignoring the way he called after her. She was so preoccupied with getting away that she wasn't paying attention to where she was placing her feet. Moments later she collided with another student, sending both sprawling to the floor.

"Oh my Gosh, I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying any attention, here let me get that for you," Emily babbled. Cheeks blushing red.

Aria placed her hands over Emily's frantic ones and smiled. "It's okay."

The pair jumped up, dropped items forgotten. Spencer crossed her arms awkwardly over her chest but still smiled warmly. Emily almost squealed as she wrapped her friend in a long overdue hug. At first Aria hesitated, and then relaxed. The feeling of familiarity and comfort washing over her.

"It's so good to see you! When did you get back? How was Iceland?" she continued, and then she waggled her eyebrows. "Meet any boys?"

"Emily," Aria giggled. When she let go she hit her friend playfully on the arm. "What about you? Want to tell me why Ben is looking at you so longingly?"

Emily glanced over her shoulder and her smile vanished. She shrugged and dropped to the floor to finish packing their things away. When she stood she hooked her arm through Aria's and pulled her along the hallway. Spencer followed behind.

The three of them sat in a row at the back of their class. It felt both strange and yet oddly comforting, the way in which things had returned to their regular programming. They didn't even speak to confirm their seating arrangement, just moved as one to the three seats.

Spencer balled her fists on top of the desk. She listened absently to the babbling of Emily and Aria, offering the occasional grunt, or affirmation, but mostly checking out of the conversation. Her thoughts were consumed by the fact that Aria's surprise arrival had prevented her from speaking to Andrew. Andrew who had her pills. Andrew. Good old Andrew.

She felt vicious panic build in the pit of her stomach. It crawled its way through her bones. Her eyes bored holes into the wood of her desk. When Aria tapped her on the shoulder she all but fell out of her chair.

"Spence? Are you okay?"

"Ye…" she coughed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired I guess."

Before Aria could pry any further, Hanna and Mona arrived, just as the second bell echoed through the building.

"You have got to explain that to me," Aria muttered to Emily, Spencer's behaviour temporarily forgotten.


	3. The Spiral

Hanna strolled up to Mona's locker after their first class and closed its door from over the girl's shoulder. Even hidden behind her sunglasses, Hanna could imagine the curious bend of her friend's eyebrows in a silent question.

"I have just been invited to Sean's for Dinner," she said. "His parents are away and I need a new dress."

"It's the first day of school."

"And I need a new dress."

Mona shrugged. "Who wants to learn about a bunch of stuffy old dead people anyway?"

Hanna smiled coyly and snaked her arm around her friend's. The pair headed straight for the East side of the school. One of the fire exits had had its lock jammed with chewing gum, and it was the easiest way out without getting spotted.

"Have you seen that new English teacher?" Mona asked in time with the clipping of their heels on the pavement. "Excellent hiring I must say. _And_ I get to be in his class."

She had seen him. Tall, clean cut, floppy brown hair and an adorable boyish smile. Even the female teachers had been lingering outside his door before first period. Offering their assistance, you know, should he require anything. Anything at all.

Fitz, was that it?

It didn't matter. What mattered was the brightly lit entrance to the Rosewood mall looming before them. The possibilities were simply endless. Hanna had to dress to impress for dinner. Sean had finally become hers and she felt that not sealing the deal after six months was just ridiculous.

Of course, Sean was generous with his compliments. The way he smiled at her just made her heart melt in her chest. A year ago, a guy like that would never have even glanced at a girl like her. But no matter what she tried, Sean just didn't seem all that interested in going any further than an accidental grope. It was frustrating, and disheartening.

The pair beelined for the most expensive area. An amazing place where you can tell that you aren't going to be able to afford anything because none of the items had their prices listed. Mona immediately held up a sleek silk dress that was more underwear than anything else and waggled her eyebrows. Hanna felt herself blush and pulled her jacker tighter around her stomach.

The dress was beautiful but it was so… revealing.

"I like this one," she said, waving a hand at Mona dismissively and pulling a random item of clothing off the rack.

Mona shrugged. "Whatever, I'm going to go and look at those scarves."

Left alone, Hanna meandered around the racks of clothing. She looked at the models in the photos on the walls mostly. Unable to stop herself from comparing the perfect way their clothing hugged every centimetre of their bodies.

Then her eyes slide over a perfect red dress. Before she can let herself think about it she steps over and runs her hands over the fabric. It's perfect. Her eyes flick up with practised expertise. She counts the steps the security guard takes on his rounds. Counts the seconds. Moves her fingers along the coat hanger, slowly pulling the shoulder free. Then, in one fluid motion, removes it, folds it into her bag and walks, head high, toward Mona at the other end of the room.

"See anything you like?"

The raven-haired girl smiled. "Red looks good on you." Mona held up a dark red scarf. "I like this one."

She wrapped it around her neck. Together they casually walked toward the exit of the mall. The two security guards didn't even cast a second glance toward them. Teenage girls with rich parents. They didn't get paid enough to care.

"Oh, look at those sunglasses," Hanna giggled.

"We shouldn't push our luck darling," Mona replies, fiddling with the tassels on her scarf. "Expensive cargo and all that."

Hanna shushed her and allowed her feet to whisk her towards the kiosk. The skinny boy behind the counter barely required any flirting. Just her presence was enough to get the specs on the table. She tried on four pairs before she found her favourite.

Mona had move to the side as her alibi without needing to be told.

"Oh my God," Hanna said is a forced, high pitched accent. "Mona? Is that you?" She turned her attention back to the boy and gave him her most winning smile. "I'll be right back I swear."

He smiled nervously and nodded.

Ten minutes later the girls were leaving. Five minutes after that the boy counted the pairs of glasses and lifted the store phone from under the table.

…..

"Andrew!" Spencer almost yelled. "Andrew, wait, Andrew!"

She sprinted the last few steps to close the distance between them. She chose to ignore the way he had obviously being ignoring her calls. Her hands shook when she placed them on his shoulder. In the next second she withdrew them, shoving them deep into her pockets. She was painfully aware of Aria's and Emily's eyes on her. There's no way they completely believed her excuse. Biology on the first day of school? Even Spencer wasn't that anal.

"Spencer, hey," Andrew sighed. Spencer liked his boyish smile and floppy blonde hair. Like the way it made her feel. Even when he was putting it on, like he was now. "Look, I know what you want and I just don't think…"

"Andrew," Spencer said. She hated how desperate her voice sounded. She cleared her throat. "Andrew, it's not a problem. I'm fine."

"You're shaking."

"I'm tired."

He narrowed his eyes slightly. She flashed him a fragile smile.

Andrew pulled his rucksack round to his front and rooted around in the bottom of it. He paused before pulling the contents out. Spencer bounced on the balls of her feet. When he brought the bottle out she had to grit her teeth to stop herself from snatching the pills from his hand.

Before he gave them to her though he stopped. "These are the last ones Spencer. I mean it. I'm not getting any more for you."

She wasn't really listening. Just nodded. Agreed with whatever he said just to get those pills in her hand. She didn't even thank him, only briefly smiled before shoving them in her pocket and turning away.

The girls weren't looking at her so she felt confident that they hadn't seen the exchange. They were chatting animatedly. They hands waving between them as they filled in every gap of the last year. It was like nothing had changed.

 _Spencer, look how you've changed._

The sudden appearance of the voice in her head made her jump and almost trip and fall. It was familiar, so familiar, and so entirely unwelcome. Why the hell was Allison making an appearance after all this time?

 _Maybe it's you Spence, going crazy – again._

"Shut up."

"What?" Aria tilted her head. It made her appear very much like a confused puppy.

"Nothing," Spencer said.


	4. Save me

The final bell of the day signalled untold relief for Spencer and Aria, and untold dread for Emily. The trio stepped out together, smiling and half-heartedly paying attention to the going conversation. Each was privately lost in their own problems – things they weren't willing to say out loud.

Emily's eyes scanned the car park until they found the thing that plagued her. Ben had parked close enough that there was no way she could just pretend to have not seen him. He caught her eye and smiled broadly. Part of her wanted the girls to invite her with them. She'd be willing to go literally anywhere other than in Ben's car.

But they didn't know there was an issue. They just smiled and giggled when they saw Ben. Raised their eyebrows and gave her flirty winks. They were happy for their friend, they had no reason not to be.

Not that they knew.

Emily choked on her goodbye and folded her arms over her chest. The passenger door to his car opened as she got nearer, and he remained leaning over her seat.

"Hey there beautiful."

She nodded, but he still didn't move. The only way for her to get into his car was to slide underneath him. Ben looked at her expectantly. The breath in her lungs felt heavy. Her skin broke out in a cold sweat.

She got in the car.

In the next moment Ben had his tongue against the skin of her neck and a hand around the wrist furthest away from himself. With his body and his grip there was no way she would be able to move. It didn't take long for his tongue to be replaced with him teeth and for him to move his way up to her lips.

Emily sat as still as possible. Except to reciprocate his kiss there wasn't a single twitch in the rest of her body. She knew if she didn't kiss him back that he would be annoyed, he'd get angry. To anyone outside of the car it would just appear like two lovers sharing a kiss.

That's not how it felt.

His free hand slid its way up her thigh. She couldn't help but tense under his touch. She hoped he wouldn't notice.

"I've missed you," he muttered against her lips. "My parents are away, let's go to mine."

It took Emily a second to find her voice. "I… can't. Ben, I should go home. My mom is expecting me."

The grip on her thigh tightened. "It'll only be for a little bit."

"Ben…"

Suddenly his presence was gone. He sat glaring at her from across the car. Her wrist ached from where his fingers had been. There would be a bruise. Another bruise. There was a darkness in his eyes, and it was like a shadow had dropped across his face.

"Don't you love me? You're my everything, you know that," he said.

"That's not it…"

"Then what? What is it? Fuck Em, stop being so uptight."

"I just want to go home."

Part of her expected him to just kick her from the car. She wasn't sure if she was relieved or terrified that he didn't. That he did drive her home. Albeit in stony and all too scary silence.

….

Spencer and Aria watched Emily approach Ben's car, but didn't stay to watch the reunion. Their thoughts were consumed with the desire to get themselves alone. Of course, this meant lying to the other, making up any excuse to get away. Made easier by their shared goal, even if they didn't know it.

Aria's excuse came before they'd even made it half way home.

"Oh, I just remembered, I told my mom I'd meet her at the Grill after school. You know, to debrief."

Spencer nodded quickly.

As soon as the other girl was out of sight, Aria leant heavily against a wall. Returning home had been so much harder than she had expected. Seeing the familiar faces of her friends, the familiar halls of her school. It brought back every memory from before Iceland like a crushing boulder on her chest.

She felt her breath quicken. Suddenly the world was spinning and everything she'd been repressing hit her in the chest like a steam train until she couldn't even stand. She sank to the floor and buried her face in her hands. The tears were there before she even had the chance to feel them.

Aria didn't want to go home. She didn't want to face the happy bubble her parents had created. They were almost pretending that Iceland wasn't a relocation to a mental facility. They were almost pretending that it had just been a pleasant family holiday.

Radley wasn't far from here. That was where she was supposed to be going. She had an appointment in half an hour. The first one back in Rosewood. There was no chance in hell that she was going. Everything was just going to go back to normal. She needed it too.

 _What the hell is normal?_

That voice. Maybe she was still crazy after all.

Instead of Radley, Aria found herself leaning over the wood bar of a nearby dive bar. The man standing behind it didn't even glance at home when she asked for a vodka and coke. It was presented to her not a minute later.

"Cool," she muttered.

She took a sip and allowed her eyes to wander around the dingy room. They were drawn to the notice board opposite her. About half way up and partly hidden behind old band posters was a missing persons flyer. You could see the eyes of the person in question peering from between them, unmistakable.

Aria downed the rest of her drink in two mouthfuls.

"Whoa, you okay down there?"

The voice belonged to an attractive guy sitting at the other end of the bar. Aria hadn't even noticed him, too wrapped up in her own world. "Jet-lag is a bitch. Europe is, like, a whole other time zone." She drawled, and rolled her eyes just a little bit.

"Where did you go in Europe?"

Her eyes flick back to his face. He had very blue eyes, and looked like a person she should know. For a moment, she considered walking away right then and there. "Iceland," she said, instead.

Apparently, he had been there, because of course he had. Travelled all over Europe. He didn't look like someone who had the kind of money that would let him do that. She'd always wanted to go to Amsterdam.

"So, I know why I'm in a dive bar in the middle of the day – why are _you_ in a dive bar in the middle of the day?"

He smiles, it's sweet and boyish, and makes him look younger. "First day at work today, it went well, but I'd rather not run into any of my students." He looked at her curiously for a moment. "What's your major?"

Aria pulled her lower lip in between her teeth. "I'm leaning towards English."

Before she knew it, they were sat side by side. They spoke about writing, and travelling, and the future. For half an hour Aria allowed all her attention to be consumed by this stranger. Of course, she was lying about her age – and there was so much she would never be able to tell him. But for right now, she craved his attention.

Suddenly she placed her hand on his forearm. The action caused his voice to falter.

"Want to get out of here?"

Unsurprisingly, the bathroom of a dive bar was not a beautiful or even particularly clean place. The pair didn't care though. The second they fell through the door their mouths connected. Aria didn't even know the man's name but she really didn't care. The only thing she wanted right then was his hands to be closer, to be under her clothes, to touch her skin.

She needed to be under him too. Aria fumbled with the buttons of his jeans.

He pressed his lips against her neck and ran his hands down her back. She leant into his touch. So, content to forget everything other than the feel of him.

"My name is Ezra," he whispered.

Her eyes flew open. Having a name would undo everything she was trying to do here. Having a name would make him a person and not just a distraction. She thrust her hands against his chest so that he fell backwards against the sink. His tailbone sounded like it connected quite heavily. Before he could say a word however, she was on him.

Aria bit down on the side of his neck. Tore his clothes until they ripped. She felt him attempt to free himself, but then she reached into the open fly of his jeans and then, he stopped fighting.


	5. Bad Decisions

There were forty-two glow-in-the-dark stars on Spencer's ceiling. They didn't glow anymore, because over the years they had been painted over time and time again, but you could still see their outlines. She stood, fingers outstretched, on her bed and traced their edges.

Rage was dissipating rapidly from her limbs. The second she'd entered the house she'd been ambushed. Melissa, Melissa, Melissa. It's always Melissa. It had taken all Summer to get the barn just right. And she knew it was right, because _Melissa_ had complimented her on the interior design.

The pills made it better though.

Spencer let her knees buckle beneath her and collapsed to the bed. Was she ready to admit there was a problem? Her mind rewound the expressions that crossed Wren's face during her argument with her parents. His eyes had lit up when she walked in the room. Such a familiar look, gone so fast when he really looked at her. There was concern, and confusion and… _realisation._

She shut her eyes hard enough that she saw whole new constellations on the back of her eyelids.

Then came the knock on the door.

"Spencer?"

This would not go well. "Wren," she opened her eyes and sat up. "What can I do for you?"

He ran his hand through his floppy, boyish hair and offered her a floppy boyish smile. So very familiar. Apparently, Melissa had a type. "I just wanted to let you know that I had no idea that the barn was supposed to be yours."

She caught the way that he was scanning her room. Subconsciously she leant back against her pillows, where there was a bottle of pills hiding beneath. "Don't worry about it, not your fault." She shrugged.

Wren took a few more steps in her room and closed the door behind him.

"That's not a good idea."

"What isn't?"

"Closing the door. I don't want to hear whatever you have to say and I don't want my family to have another reason to take things away from me."

He crossed his arms over his chest and leant back against the door. "Spencer…"

"Don't pretend you care. And don't pretend you know me at all."

"I'm not, I promise," another flash of that smile. "Besides, what Melissa doesn't know won't hurt her."

This pulled a small, reluctant smile from Spencer. "Well this is new."

"What?"

"It's been a while since I've liked someone that Melissa has liked."

Wren laughed and took it as an invitation to move further into the room. He sat on the corner of the bed but didn't get any closer. She watched him carefully. The friendly expression disappeared from his face, however, when he saw the way she was fidgeting. Spencer kept her eyes everywhere except on his face.

She didn't hear him say her name the first few times, but her attention snapped to his hand when it landed on her knee.

"If you ever need any help, Spencer," he paused. "Just know, you can call me."

She nodded quickly, shuffled away from his touch, and the conversation was over.

He didn't leave though. His hand stayed only an inch away from her knee, hovering above the fabric of her duvet. Her eyes were fixated on his hand. His skin was soft and young. There were no blemishes, no callouses and no sign of anything that would suggest he'd done any hard work in his life. Her own hands were scarred from hockey, and from nervously picking at the skin around her nails and permanently stained from years of obsession with handwriting her notes. Most people said they couldn't see those stains, but she could, she could see the grey in the flesh of her fingers.

 _Not to interrupt your thought spiral there Spence, but doesn't this remind you of something?_

"What?"

"I ah… didn't say anything."

 _The friendly,_ _ **cute**_ _, boyfriend who is just so helpful. It's no chest on your back and a cliché helping you with your swing._

Spencer closed her eyes tight enough to see stars float across her eyelids. Then the feeling of a warm hand against the side of her face. She leant into Wren's hand and didn't even notice how close he'd gotten until his lips touched hers.

Immediately she wanted to pull away. She wanted to tell him to stop. Tell him he had a girlfriend and that girlfriend was her _sister_. But she didn't. She kissed him back.

His lips her as soft as his hands. He tasted like disinfectant and cigarettes. When he pulled away for a second she sucked in a lungful of warm air.

"You smoke?"

"What your sister doesn't know won't hurt her."

Spencer was sure he would have kissed her again but the bubble was destroyed by the sound of Melissa calling him. He was gone before she opened her eyes.

 _Oh Spencer, you're in trooooooouble._

"Fuck off Allison."

…..

Emily watched Ben drive away. His wheels squealed on the asphalt as he tore down the road. The sound hit her like a train. Suddenly, she wanted to be anywhere except home, so she started walking – she didn't care where.

Her feet took her down the road that used to be Allison's, and there, at the end, was a sight that took all thoughts of Ben from her head. A moving van, parked outside of the DiLaurentis' home. For a moment, she just watched the boxes pile outside the house. Part of her hated the way Allison was being erased from the town. Every day she was gone just a little bit more.

 _Not so fast there Em, if you remember who I am. Immortality my darling._

She shook her head to free herself from the white noise. Then her attention was torn away by a slim brown girl stumbling and dropping one of the many boxes into the road. Before she could think of anything else to do, Emily had wrapped her hands around the box and was shoving the dropped items back into their cardboard storage.

"Thank you."

Emily looked up into the brown eyes of the girl moving into the house. She had a soft smile and it reached all the way through her face. The girl smiled with her whole body and Emily was instantly captivated by it.

"No problem," she muttered.

They stood together. Emily held one end of the box, and the girl held the other. It too the girl pulling gently to get her to release her grip.

"Do you live around here?"

"What?"

The girl giggled. It was magical. "Do you live around here?"

Emily nodded, swallowing hard in an attempt to clear her suddenly very dry mouth. "I'm Emily. Emily… um… Fields."

"Well, Emily Um Fields, I'm Maya," she tilted her head. "Would you like to come in?"

The house was different but she couldn't quite put her finger on why. All the cupboards, and the windows and the walls were in the same place but everything else had moved. The furniture was new. The pictures on the walls no longer held smiling blonde children but a collection of straight laced and smart photos of a black family. She picked out the different moments of Maya's life. A baby photo here, first day of school, mid-laughter mid-hug with a man who could only be her father.

"Did you know the family who used to live here?"

"Yeah," Emily mumbled. "I did."

"Did you know them well?"

Memories of Allison began to swim to the forefront of her mind. All smiles and hidden looks from behind bookcases.

 _Out little secret Emily._

She shook her head again. "The girl who used to live her, she… well she's gone now. It doesn't matter," she held up the little box in her hands. "Where should I put this?"

"Anywhere," Maya said, taking the box from Emily's hands. "Come with me, we could use a break."

"We've only brought two boxes inside…"

"Exactly, break time!"

Maya had claimed Allison's bedroom. Emily paused at the doorway, unable to force her legs to take that final step into a place she hadn't entered for over a year. Her thoughts were interrupted by Maya slipping her hand into the crook of Emily's elbow. In her other hand was a roll of paper that looked suspiciously like weed.

"Do you smoke?"

"I swim."

Maya laughed. "Okay, so you're a jock then. Never done anything _naughty_? Or do I get to be a bad influence?"

Emily took the splif from her new friend's hand and gave her a weak smile. It was in her mouth and lit before she had the chance to change her mind.

Maya led her into the room, all resistance leaving her body with every lungful of the sweet-smelling drug. She was enjoying how close the girl was. The warmth was comforting.

She didn't notice her phone ringing, or the three text messages left by Ben. She hadn't laughed this way in so long. She hadn't been this relaxed in _so long_.

"Tell me more about you Emily Um Fields."

Emily leant her shoulder into Maya's. "There's not a lot to know."

"Oh, that can't be true – I'm sure you're just endlessly fascinating. If what I know already is anything to go by."

Emily felt heat rise in her cheeks. She took the last drag, a deep breath, and smiled. "Well, we moved a lot when I was a kid, because my dad is in the army…"

They talked for what seemed like hours. The light dimmed and turned dark outside the window. The rest of the boxes slowly moved their way inside, in between laughing and smoking and more talking. It wasn't until Emily happened to glance at the clock that her skin turned to ice and her breath caught in her throat.

Her mom was going to _kill_ her.

 _Not to mention that boyfriend of yours._

Emily rushed to the door, babbling about needing to get home, and the way her clothes must smell and the way this was so unlike her and…

Maya took her hand.

"Breathe Emily. The world is not about to end."

She was so aware of Maya's skin against her. She couldn't not notice her pulse, throbbing against her wrist. The girl was standing only inches away. So close that they could…

Emily shook her head violently, yanked her hand free, and ran down the road toward her house. Ignoring the way Maya was calling after her.


	6. Bad Decisions pt2

The red dress looked good. Hanna twirled at her reflection in the mirror, watching the way the fabric hugged her skin without drawing attention to any one point. She loved it. And she loved the way it hadn't hurt her bank account. It was perfect for her dinner. She was so wrapped up in the feeling that the knock on the door didn't even register on her consciousness.

She pulled the dress over her head and hung it with the utmost care on her wardrobe door. Next of her agenda was a shower. Everything for tonight was going to be perfect.

In order to make the trip from her bedroom to the bathroom she pulled a boyfriend t-shirt on. She never made the distance.

Before she could place her hand on the door handle of the bathroom her mother called. It had been so long since she'd heard the worried tone of voice that demanded her immediate attention. From the top of the stairs she could see the flashing lights of a police car dancing along the wall. Had someone died? Was it Mona? A distant relative? Her father?

"Hanna, will you come here please."

Her legs felt like lead as she descended the stairs. At the door stood two men. An older gentleman, with salt and pepper hair and a stern, straight expression, and a younger, squarer looking man, whose steel grey eyes were fixed on her in such a way that she unconsciously tugged the hem of her shirt down to cover more of her legs. She wished she'd put underwear on.

"What's going on?"

"Hanna Merin?"

"Yeah?"

The young police man took a step into the house. Her mother stepped away without putting up a fight. The air he gave off demanded obedience.

"We received a call this afternoon from the Rosewood Mall," her fingers turned to ice. "We have reason to believe that several items were taken from a Boutique, during school hours, which makes you truant as well as a thief."

"What he means to say," the older man interrupts, with a scowl. "Is, we need you, and your mother, to accompany us to the station."

Hanna got dressed in silence, under the silent and judgemental glare of her mother. She hadn't said a word since the police officers had made their accusations. She reached for her phone only to find it swiftly swiped from her grasp.

"I need to text Sean…"

"It can wait."

And that was the end of that conversation.

The police station was ugly and claustrophobic. Hanna's mother had been in a room with the younger cop for almost forty minutes. Then she was called in, and her Mother left. Wasn't that, like, illegal? She was a minor after all. Shouldn't her mother be present? What did it even matter if she took a dress. It's not like she'd _killed_ anyone. Besides, lots of people shoplifted. Its what teenagers _do_.

"Hanna."

"Officer."

He nodded and shuffled some papers on his desk. "Detective Darren Wilden. You can call me Detective Wilden."

Hanna took an immediate dislike to him. "Whatever."

"Let's get to the point. I told you Mom out there that I was going to use this time to scare you straight about shoplifting and being an all-round teenage dead-beat," he raised his hand before Hanna could retort. "But I'm not going to do that. I'm going to make you a deal."

"Look, I have no idea what you're talking about and even if I had taken anything, which I obviously didn't, just give me my slap on the wrist and let me go."

A smirk spread itself across the slimy features of the officer. "The security tag is still on your sunglasses. The sunglasses that look surprisingly familiar to those you put on in this CCTV tape I have in my drawer."

Hanna swallowed thickly but quickly regained her flippant composure. "You said something about a deal?"

"I did," if it was possible his smirk grew wider. "This," he slid a slip of paper across the table. "Is my address, and a time. You're, what, seventeen?"

"Sixteen," Hanna mumbled. Her heart was sinking into her stomach and a cold sweat had appeared on her forehead. The way he was looking at her was no longer stern, but predatory. His hand pushed the slip of paper closer to her, and she took it, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Don't tell Mommy, Hanna," he said, almost as an afterthought. "Wouldn't want to get her in trouble for bank fraud, or something."

A fire stirred in her belly. Now he was threatening her Mother? How could she have been so stupid, so naïve, so… how could she have done this? How did shoplifting lead to this situation here?

"My Mom has never done anything wrong in her life," she spat. Despite the angry scowl on her face her hands still shook. "Don't you dare."

"Are you sure Hanna? Are you really sure?"

She stood fast enough that her chair flew backwards onto the floor. Detective Wilden raised an eyebrow and matched her stance. He moved around his desk in a fluid way, almost like a slither. She shuddered as the images of snakes flooded her mind.

He pulled the chair back up and then placed a hand on the small of Hanna's back. She recoiled from his touch but he just moved with her, and directed her toward the door.

"I'll be waiting," he said, closing the door behind her.

 _Careful Han, prison clothes are so unflattering._

The car ride home was made in stony and cold silence. At no point did Ashley even look at their daughter until they made it to the front door. She placed her hand on the door knob and paused. Hanna sucked her lower lip into her mouth.

"I'm so disappointed in you Hanna," she said.

Hanna fixed her eyes on the floor and followed her mother inside. The slip of paper with Wilden's address on it was burning a hole in her pocket.

…

The daylight had vanished by the time Aria had returned home. Her thoughts were consumed with images of the man from the bar. _Ezra_. The feel of his skin on hers and the warmth he radiated. She closed her eyes and sighed, happy for the first time in a while.

That feeling quickly vanished when the door swung open to two very stern looking parents with their arms folded over their chests. Ella and Byron were fighting with the feelings of concern, anger and disappointment. Unsure which one to express to their daughter.

"Urm, hi guys."

"We got a call from your therapist this afternoon Aria," Ella said. "You didn't turn up to your appointment."

She closed the door behind her and leant against it. "About that…"

"Aria, part of the reason we were able to come home is because you promised to keep up with your appointments."

Suddenly she felt the twisting knot of frustration reappear in the pit of her stomach. How dare her father lecture her about responsibilities. She felt venom beginning to build on her tongue. "I'll just go tomorrow."

"That's not the point Aria."

"Whatever," she muttered. "I'll go tomorrow," she sighed. "I promise. It was just… really strange being back in Rosewood."

It seemed like those were the magic words. In synchronisation, her parent's shoulders relaxed and they dropped their arms. They exchanged a look between them and Ella stepped forward, pulling her daughter into a reluctant hug.

Aria stiffened in her mother's embrace. Ella didn't seem to notice. "I know it must be hard coming back here."

 _That's not the only hard thing around here._

If it was possible, Aria was sure the voice in her head was laughing.

She retreated to her bed room as soon as her mother released her and was disappearing up the stairs before her parents could say another word. She shut the door immediately and collapsed onto her bed. Maybe skipping her appointment had been a bad idea. Ezra had pushed the invasive thoughts away for a few hours, but now that she was alone it was all she could think about.

The world came crashing down around her. Every limb became heavy and restrictive. She curled up around herself, pulling her knees tight to her chest.

 _What's the matter Aria? You've just had a one afternoon stand with a stranger, you've got no friends, your dads a cheating asshole. What else could go wrong?_

She shivered. Even after all this time Alison was still haunting her. But then, in the middle of her spiral her phone vibrated against her thigh.

 _ **Wanna come over? Like old times?**_

She didn't know it, but Spencer had just provided the perfect, momentary distraction.

Aria sat up slowly, the fog of her intrusive thoughts weighing heavy on her shoulders like a weight. She snuck down the stairs, careful to avoid every creak on the way down. Her parents were sat in the living room, completely oblivious to their daughter.

They were talking about her in hushed whispers. She made every attempt not to listen.

"I'm worried about her," Byron mumbled. "It's so unlike her to skip out like that."

"It must have been so hard for her to come back here, maybe we just need to give her some time."

"We gave her a whole year of time."

"She'll come around."

Aria swiped at her face, dashing away the threat of tears. She didn't mean to worry her parents. She just… it was just… it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. The world was not going to wait for Aria Montgomery to get her shit together.

She slipped out of the backdoor and walked swiftly away from her house.


	7. Breathing

The Hasting's household was empty apart from Spencer. She was sat in the living room, huddled and shaking inside of a duvet on the sofa. Upstairs in her room was the reason for her shivering – a mostly empty pill bottle, with only two left nestled in the bottom. Two pills. Andrew had made it very clear that he would not be providing her with any more. Two pills. How long ago did she take the last one? Two pills. She was staring at nothing. Two pills. Only two pills.

Maybe Wren would be a potential new source. She'd been avoiding him like the plague since he'd left her room earlier. Untold relief had washed through her when she heard of his and her sisters plans to go away for a few days. Even so, she couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. How desperate she was for it to happen again.

The sound of Aria knocking on the window made Spencer jump out of her skin. She forced a tired smile and waved for her to let herself in. The tiny human looked as bad as Spencer felt. Actually, that probably wasn't true – Spencer was sure she looked pretty bad herself.

"Hey," she said weakly.

Aria smiled back. The scent of familiarity and warm memories flooded her system. She didn't realise just how much she had missed this, being here, with friends. Her friend appeared like a ghost, pale, with dark circles rimming her eyes.

"Hey," she said back.

The silence became awkward. Aria hadn't even moved from the door.

Spencer made her way to her feet. The sight of such a frail looking Aria had kicked some small forgotten protective feeling in her chest. For the moment, the shaking in her hands stopped and before she even realised she was doing it she had wrapped herself and the duvet around them both.

They stood like this for several minutes. Breathing in the smell of each other. Absorbing the warmth and allowing themselves to both just accept the affection they had been so starved off. Being so close Spencer could feel the beginnings of bones through Aria's clothes, and Aria became aware of every shiver convulsing through Spencer.

"What's going on Spence?" she said, quietly.

"Show me yours and I'll show you mine," Spencer said lowly.

Aria pulled away slightly and glanced upwards at the taller girl. Now that she was so close she could see every line carved into her face. She could see the sharp edges and the hollowness in her eyes. Her mouth pursed into a flat line.

 _I dare you to tell her how crazy you are. After all, totally-together Spencer will understand._

She swallowed heavily. Spencer was watching her carefully, studying her in the same manner that she was studying her.

Instead of speaking, she began to cry. The tears were hot and huge and rolled down her cheeks like rivers. Aria had no idea where the sudden rain had come from but all of a sudden she couldn't stop herself. In the next moment hey were huddled together on the sofa. She assumed afterwards that Spencer must have directed them there, but she didn't remember.

"Iceland wasn't just a family trip," she forced through the sobs. "After…"

"Allison," Spencer offered.

"Yeah," she whispered. "My parents took me away – and put me into… therapy."

For a while neither of them said anything. Aria buried her head into her friends shoulder like there had never been a break between them at all.

"Did it work?" Spencer deadpanned. She wasn't sure if she was asking Aria or enquiringly for herself.

"I had thought so, but being back here… still seeing her face all over town… it's so…"

"I know."

Neither girl was willing to let go of the other. As long as Spencer's arms were wrapped around the fragile body of her friend then her body stopped shaking. She could concentrate on counting the strands of hair on Arias head and not the nausea bubbling in her stomach. In another moment, Spencer used the toe of her foot to turn on the tv.

Aria told her about Ezra. About how she had run away instead of going to the one place she knew would help. After all, Iceland had made everything better for a time – it wasn't the fear of therapy that had driven her to that bar. Spencer sat quietly, letting her friend vent every thought that she'd had had pent up in her mind.

Thoughts of Wren and her dwindling numbers of pills swirled like a hurricane in Spencer's mind. Against her chest she could feel every breath that Aria took. She welcomed the warmth. It had seemed like an age since she'd felt any sort of heat.

Lazily her finger traced patterns along Aria's spine. Time passes them slowly. She could feel the pressure of her whole life pressing down on her. Everything that her parents expected from her. Falling for not one, but two of her sisters boyfriends. The pills. It's always about the pills.

The knot of it all twisted its way into her chest, up through her throats and almost choked her as in forced its way to her lips. As she opened her mouth to tell her friend she became aware of how deep her breathing had gotten.

Aria was asleep, and by the expression on her face it was as though it was the first time in a long time that the girl had actually relaxed. Spencer ground her teeth together, jaws muscles tense, ready to burst forth all of the pain regardless of whether or not she would be heard. In the end she just exhaled, pulled the duvet closer around them and closed her eyes. Sleep beckoned her and for once, she let it.

The warmth of the morning sun served as the girls alarm clock. The TV was still on, playing the morning news at a muted volume. Spencer stirred first. Groggy and still half asleep she carefully unfolded Arias arms from around her waist and slid out from under the still sleeping girl. She instantly missed the warmth but there was a huge more pressing issue taking control.

There was a ball of pain exploding at the base of her skull. Her eyes burned with unrelenting heat. Nausea held her stomach hostage against everything else until it was all she could do to not vomit right there in the floor. She scurried upstairs, arms wrapped tightly around herself. Before she even knew what she was doing she had swallowed the last two pills from beneath her pillow and collapsed to the floor.

She hugged her knees to her chest and began sobbing, even as the symptoms of withdrawal receded back to their cave. It seemed like an age but was probably only a few minutes before she could get her breathing back under control. Through blurry eyes she glanced at the clock on her dresser. Shit. They were going to be late.

 _Can't be late Spencer. What would Mommy think?_

Every time she heard that voice whispering in her mind they took more of a form. If she was willing to admit how crazy she was becoming she would also say that the voice belonged to a blonde.

…..

At school Hanna couldn't concentrate. Even the small amount of focus she usually drummed up was gone. Every single thought she had was consumed by the slip of paper burning a hole in her pocket. The time that was printed in bold, black handwriting at the top was only a half hour after school ended. Her mother wouldn't be home from work for another three hours after that.

She felt sick.

None of Hanna's inner turmoil registered at all with Mona, who was completely content to continue chirping with no input whatsoever in return. The hours just blurred together.

 _He's hot Han. I thought this was what you wanted. You can't just be a virgin forever._

The bell for the end of the day cut through her like a knife. She stayed glued to her seat, staring at her hands. An icy sweat broke out all over her skin. The room suddenly felt extremely claustrophobic.

"Hello? Earth to Hanna? Jeez girl have you listened to a word I said ?"

Hanna jolted and glanced up to the owner of the voice. Mona stood, towering over her with her arms crossed over her chest.

"What?"

Mona rolled her eyes. "How did it go with Sean?"

In all honesty Hanna had completely forgotten all about her boyfriend. She hadn't spoken to him since skipping out on the dinner. Offering just an 'I'm sorry' text messages and ignoring his calls. Through the haze of her panic she'd managed to avoid him all day.

"It was great." She forced a smile.

Mona's features broke out into a huge grin. She snatched Hanna's hand from the desk and dragged them both out of the classroom. They headed quickly to the front doors. "Oh my God. Did it happen?" She wiggled her eyebrows. "Welcome to the club babe."

"I have to go," she coughed, overwhelmed. "Dinner… with my mom. Sorry. Got to go."

She yanked her hand free and scurried away before Mona could protest. She heard her friend calling after her but not the tell tale signs of being followed.

The address was burned into her brain so she didn't need to look at the note. Her feet took her automatically through the streets of Rosewood until, twenty five minutes later, she arrived at the end of his road.

The world closed in around her. Every part of her body screamed at her not go go further. But the encroaching thoughts of what might happen if she didn't were all she could think about. Could he really go through with his threats? And even if he didn't go after her mom, wouldn't she get in serious trouble? Maybe she should tell someone, anyone.

 _Who are you gonna tell? The police? That'd be pretty funny._

She was close enough that she could see him watching her through the window. That same steely gaze captivated her. She felt very much like a rabbit caught in a pair of headlights – the car barrelling toward her, mighty and unstoppable.

The door opened for her as she got closer and then she was inside. The sound of the door closing behind her sounded like a gunshot. Air caught in her throat like she'd completely forgotten how to breathe.


	8. Issues

Spencer was gone when Aria opened her eyes. There was a note and a rapidly cooling mug of tea on the counter. The note didn't contain anything suspicious, just something about an early morning study session before school. She glanced at the clock, it was only half seven, must have been very early.

 _Or she's lying._

There was just enough time for her to go home and change before she had to be at school. The thought was enough to clench her stomach in her abdomen. Her parents didn't know that she'd stayed here.

Speaking of which… Aria fished her phone out of her bag and confirmed her suspicions. There were seven missed calls from her Mother. Five from her dad and even one from her brother. Well, shit. Her finger hovered over the call button.

"Aria? Where the hell are you? Are you okay?" Her mother spat rapidly.

"Mom, I'm okay, I'm…."

"You can't just disappear in the middle of the night like that! Where are you?"

"I'm at Spencer's"

The line went quiet for a moment. "Hasting?"

"Yeah."

"Are you coming home?"

"On my way."

It took Aria half the time to get home during the day than it did during her night-time escape to Spencer's. She paused with her hand hovering over the front door handle. She seemed to be doing a lot of hovering that morning. The door opened by itself only a second later, to reveal the exhausted looking face of her mother.

Neither of them said anything as Ella stood to one side to allow her daughter passage. Before Aria could get all the way inside however her mother wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her almost uncomfortably close.

Aria held her breath. "I'm sorry for sneaking out," she choked out.

"I'm just glad you're okay."

The sudden mood change was giving Aria whiplash.

"I'm going to be late."

Aria wriggled out of her mom's grasp and ducked under her arm. In the next second she was upstairs and shutting her door behind her. She leant against it heavily. Slowly she let her eyes wander around her bedroom. Nothing had changed and yet everything was different.

Then her gaze came over the collection of pill bottles on the dresser. She hadn't taken the ones for last night. Or this morning. Suddenly her mouth became very dry.

She ignored the pills, changed, and scurried out of the front door before her mom could stop her for another bonding session.

Spencer was waiting for her outside the school doors. She smiled weakly at her but there was no pity, no change in the way that her friend viewed her. It was comforting and a huge weight was lifted from Arias shoulders. Everything might be okay.

She looked different from the night before. There were still dark circles beneath her eyes and a gaunt look to her cheeks but there was no shivering, and her eyes weren't darting around like they had been. Maybe all Spencer had needed was a night of good sleep. It put the idea of staying over more often into Arias head.

 _But don't you think it's weird Aria?_

Allison was really starting to piss her off, and the girl was dead.

They exchanged little more than pleasantries before entering the brick hallways of the high school. No words were needed though, simply the company of the other way enough to ease the pressure of the world.

Emily was already sat in the far corner of the classroom. It seemed like exhaustion was attempting to collect all the girls because she matched the pair with her bruised looking eyes and fragile appearance. Quieter than she had been the day before but not nearly as bad as Spencer and Aria had been.

They quickly made their way to her and sat, one in front and one to the side, instinctively leaving a fourth seat open, but none of them were quite sure why. The quiet lull of the classroom, quickly became the drone of a small crowd as more people filed in. Hanna was one of the last.

This was where all of Arias attention went. The blonde's hair was lank and fell in stingy tendrils around her shoulders. She was wearing an oversized sweater and… were those jogging bottoms? A stark contradiction to the well-dressed model she'd seen stepping out of Monas car the day before.

But before Aria could even think to ask her what was wrong her next problem strolled in the classroom.

That boyish face was turned to the floor as he stepped over bag packs and other items littering the carpet but it was unmistakeable who it was.

 _Hot for teacher? Like father like daughter._

The uneasy tension did not go unnoticed by Spencer. Her eyes flicked between Aria, the new teacher and the other two girls more than they paid attention to the words that Mr Fitz was writing in the board in neat handwriting.

Hanna stared intently at the chips in her desk, fiddling nervously with a scrap of paper. Mona had spared her friend only a few glances, the perfect example of concern etched into her perfect features but the scraps of whispered conversation that they heard were all about the upcoming sale at the mall.

When the bell tolled Aria shot out of her seat and out of the door before anyone else had even had a chance to pick up their bags. Spencer longed to go after her but between her and the door was Hanna. Something was seriously wrong. The two girls had barely said enough word to each other to constitute a sentence since Ali disappeared. It didn't matter though, not really.

She reached out a tentative hand and placed it on Hanna's arm.

What happened next caused everyone in the room to glue their eyes to the blonde.

The second Spencer's fingers made contact, Hanna exploded. She tore her arm away and jumped back so violently that her desk flew to the side with a squeal of protest.

"Don't touch me," she hissed through clenched teeth. Every muscle was tense. Panic swallowed her entire being. Her heart beat like a wild animal trying to force its way out. "Don't you fucking touch me."

Mr. Fitz placed the books he had picked up carefully back down onto his desk. "Miss Merin?"

Hanna's eyes jumped up to his face and she deflated immediately. Her wild eyes jumped to every face that was staring at her. She folded her arms over her chest and began hyperventilating.

"I'm sorry," she stammered. "I'm really sorry."

Spencer and Emily had jumped to their feet in this time. Immediately they fell into old habits. With little more than a glare and a couple of hand gestures, Spencer emptied the room of students, and Emily, with a polite smile to Mr Fitz, moved Hanna's desk back to its designated place and sat Hanna back at it.

"Would it possibly be okay," Emily said. "If we could get a pass for next period?"

Mr Fitz nodded his head with a little bit too much enthusiasm, as though he was thrilled to not have to deal with the teenage meltdown happening before him. Besides, there was someone else he really had to go and find. He pulled the blind down over the door and shut it behind him.

Once the room was quiet, Spencer and Emily sat at the desks to either side of the blonde. Worry was tugging at their features. Here was their friend, cute adorable Hanna, who had become fierce and confident Hanna, looking completely broken.

"Hanna," Spencer murmured.

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I'm really sorry."

"It's okay."

"It's not okay."

 _You're being so dramatic Hanna. Do you see how dramatic you're being? Some things just don't change, do they?_

Tears threatened to break from her eyes as she sat their shivering.

 _Oh, poor Hanna, pours all her weight down the toilet. Begs the hottest guy just to touch her. Even_ Daddy _didn't want you. Now you have this hot older guy? Don't pretend you didn't want it, why else would you do it?_

"Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!"

Emily and Spencer recoiled from Hanna's outburst. Suddenly the tears weren't just threatening anymore, in the next moment Hanna was sobbing. Huge, violent, wracking sobs that shook everyone to their very core. The girls exchanged glances and then wrapped Hanna in a group hug, ignoring the blonde's protests, until the crying subsided.

Aria stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. The girl staring back at her was someone she didn't even recognise. Raven hair hung around her shoulders, longer than it had ever been. Her eyes were cold and hard and completely foreign. The muscles in her jaw were clenched and aching.

Mr Fitz… _Ezra_ was her English teacher.

She ignored the bell warning her that she was going to be late. She ignored the hammering of her heart and the way her knuckles were white and frozen against the bathroom counter. Mostly she hated the way that she wanted the guy she swore she would never see again. Her momentary distraction was suddenly going to be a permanent fixture in her life.

She hated the way part of her was okay with it.


	9. The set up

Mona was hovering outside of the English classroom, ear all but pressed to the crack in the door. She ignored the bell for her next lesson, and scared away the hall monitors with a well-placed glare. Inside were the three muffled voices of her best friend and the two girls that had abandoned her. It caused a curious pit of irritation to swell in her stomach. For a moment she let herself ponder this strange feeling, then casually dismissed it, pressing her ear closer to the wood.

At most she could only discern every third word. But every third word was enough to redirect her irritation at Emily and Spencer toward a much more formidable target.

Darren Wilden.

The reveal of his name had caused a scary tone to envelop Spencer's voice, and had quietened Emily. But to Mona, all she could think about was the various ways in which she could mount the head of the detective on her wall. A plan began to form.

 _Careful Mona._

She sneered at the voice. That voice. _The_ voice that had haunted her since she was eight years old. It cropped up from time to time, encouraging her – nothing like the way its owner had spoken to her. This is what had convinced her that the voice was mostly just a figment of her imagination. It gave her the praise that she had always craved from Allison without actually having to _be_ Allison.

It was not encouraging her now which made her think that, perhaps, killing a cop and mounting his head on her wall was _probably_ not a clever thing to do. Part of her found it hard to care. It was _Hannah_ after all.

With a flick of her long raven hair she turned and stalked away from the door.

…

"I'll kill him," Spencer snarled. "I'll kill him and his entire family."

Hanna stared up at the brunette with wide, fragile eyes. "He has a dog."

"I'll kill his dog."

Emily sat back in the uncomfortable desk chair she had claimed. Hanna's story had brought back swirling clouds of nightmares to the front of her mind. Every touch that the blonde described had its own equal image. Wilden's hand was Ben's hand. Wilden's hot breath was Ben's hot breath. She found it hard to concentrate on anything else. Guilt made stabs at her focus.

 _Hanna is spilling her soul to you and all you can think about is your boyfriend? Wow Emily, self-centred much._

She shook her head and made a conscious effort to refocus on her friend. Hanna was shaking in her seat, eyes mostly cast down with the occasional flick up to their pacing and fuming friend. Hanna spared a look at Emily, as though she was scared about what Spencer might do next.

"Spence," Emily said carefully. "Maybe we should tell someone?"

Spencer stopped pacing. Her arms crossed over her chest and, coupled with her blazing eyes, she appeared a lot older, a lot angrier, than was typical. She didn't blame her, but was anxious to calm her before she did something stupid.

Hanna's eyes, if possible, grew larger. "No! No! We can't!"

Spencer's rigid frame relaxed slightly. "My dad?"

The blonde shook her head violently. "We can't," she repeated. "I swore."

"Swore what?"

"He'll go after my mom," she whispered, like all the fight had left her body. "He… it's okay. I'll be okay."

Muscles twitched along Spencer's jaw. She knelt beside their friend and placed a hand carefully on the blonde's knee. Hanna flinched, but didn't brush it away. "Hanna, we have to tell someone. Anyone. My dad can help, nothing will happen to your mom."

Hanna just kept shaking her head.

Emily watched the exchange silently. Inside her mind there was a battle raging. Before this moment she had refused to acknowledge the seriousness of her relationship with Ben.

 _It's not rape if you didn't say no. You can't let it happen and_ _ **then**_ _decide you didn't want it Emily. Ben's hot, girls would line up to date him and he chose_ _ **you**_ _._

She swallowed hard. "Maybe you should take Hanna home." The pair looked up, almost like they had forgotten that Emily was there at all. She didn't want that to bother her, but it did, just a little. She chose her next words carefully. "I'll tell the office that you've gone. I'm sure Mr. Fitz will agree with it."

Emily and Spencer looked at Hanna, waiting for her answer. For almost a full minute the girl just sat there, digging holes into her desk with her eyes. Then, slowly, so slowly, she nodded.

Spencer bundled her into her arms and herded her toward the door, giving Emily little more than a nod. Emily stayed sat at the desk until she was sure that the girls had left the building and then pulled herself up.

It was then that she remembered the rapid way in which Aria had sprinted from the room.

 _One crisis at a time._

She grimaced and left for the direction of the office.

….

During all of this, Aria peered at herself in the bathroom mirror. She couldn't stay in there forever, but nor could she fathom the possibility that she might run into Mr. Fit… _Ezra_ again. Involuntarily images flashed before her eyes.

 _How comforting it was, to have another person want to touch you. She felt the muscles under his hands shiver. Her lips brushed his and every available inch of skin she could find. Her hands had no problem tugging his belt free from his jeans. Had no problem finding what lay beneath them…_

Her thoughts were shattered by the door to the bathroom slamming open. Illusion broken she gathered her things and rushed out.

The next class she had was Biology. The only friend she shared it with was Emily, but when she got there the caramel skinned girl was nowhere to be found. She found it curious, but not particularly worth any amount of worry.

She took her seat, spread her books across the counter and opened up her notebook to the next clean page. This note book wasn't for class notes, but for the intricately woven story she had been writing. It had everything that you could want from a book, adventure, romance, hurt and angst. The heroine, who didn't resemble Aria in any way of course, was brave, and loyal and loving. She could save the day just by raising a single finger.

For the duration of her lesson she lost herself in the fiction that flowed from her pen. The heroine was just pulling her friend from a burning building when the sharp, shrill bell cut through her thoughts. It was amazing how much time she'd lost and not even noticed. She cast her eyes over the room to find that Emily was still not present. A little part of her felt guilty for not noticing that the girl wasn't just late, but completely absent.

Before she could pass the teachers desk he called her name.

"Ah, you're ears do work, Miss Montgomery."

She offered a weak smile. "Sorry Sir."

He straightened the papers on his desk while they waited for the rest of the students to leave the room. As soon as they had he glanced up at her from over his half-moon glasses. "How are you doing Aria?"

Arias brows furrowed low over her eyes. "Just fine, Sir."

"Your mother has asked of us to keep an eye on you this semester – and you're lack attention in…"

The rest of his words fell on deaf ears. Her Mother had spoken to her teachers? How dare she?! What could she have told them?

What if she'd told Ezra?

 _Jesus A, what are you going to do now?_

Aria interrupted the teacher with a lame excuse about needing to be somewhere and left the room before he could call her back. Her head was a swirling mess of black thoughts. A mixture on anger and betrayal caused bile to rise in her throat. She walked without destination, tears stinging her eyes, until she ended up back in the bathroom, dry retching into a toilet. She didn't know when she'd got there, but all she could concentrate on was the way in which her insides were desperately trying to become her outsides.

This went on for several minutes until she managed to straighten herself and fall backwards against the wall of the cubicle. Suddenly the prospect of being stuck in this building for the next few hours seemed impossible to her. She couldn't decide if she wanted to be held by someone, anyone, or if she never wanted to see another person ever again.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out and stared at it through blurry eyes.

 **Had to take Hanna home after English**

 **Wanna meet at mine after school?**

At the moment she wanted to be anywhere except for at school or at home so Spencer's sounded like the perfect place to escape to. The fact that the others had had to leave too had piqued her curiosity enough to seal the deal.

She forced herself to leave the relative safety of the bathroom, with every intention to leave and head to Spencer's, and promptly spotted Ezra at the other end of the hall. His eyes caught hers at the exact same moment. She tried to read his expression. Was it pitying? It looked a lot like pity. Anger bubbled in her throat.

He crossed the space between them before she could run, and casually directed her into a nearby empty classroom. Unluckily for her there was no one else around to spot this, as the next lesson was already well under way, so there was no choice for her other than to be herded.

"You told me you were in college," he said, as a statement.

"Not technically," she said softly, putting a desk between them. "I said I was considering English for my major, which is completely true."

He ran an exacerbated hand through his floppy brown hair. He began pacing. The movement quickly made her dizzy to watch so she fixed her eyes on the floor before her. He was muttering under his breath, something about being fired.

"Stop worrying," she said. "It's no big deal."

Ezra stopped dead in his tracks and glared at her. As much as she was sure that the glare was supposed to be firm, it really only succeeded in making him more attractive. "No big deal?"

Aria shrugged. "Just don't tell anyone."

"Just don't…" his mouth fell open. "Aria…"

"Mr. Fitz," she said. A lot of effort went into not making it a hiss. She lifted her head high, refusing to let this ruin her day any further.

She squared her shoulders and headed for the door. Moments before she reached it, however, Ezra's arm snaked over her shoulder, shut the door, and pulled the blind down over the window. It all happened very fast. She span round, ready to confront this man for trapping her, when her words were lost.

Ezra's lips were as warm as she had remembered them.

…

Emily too, had decided that school just wasn't the place for her that afternoon. How funny it was, that girls who had been so capable before were dissolving into truant head cases. Besides, she knew that Ben would be waiting for her after her last lesson, as he had promised he would be, and she just didn't have the energy for that.

She ducked out of the school doors with her arms crossed tightly across her chest. Two days into the school year and that was it, it was too much. Her thoughts consumed all her attention right up until she slammed straight into another person. It was becoming a habit, apparently.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" she squeaked, shuffling all the books together that had landed on the ground.

A warm and familiar hand fell over hers. She followed the brown skin to its owner. Maya smiled at her and instantly her heart began to race. "Hey there Jock. How did it go with your mom?"

Emily's smile wavered. She considered lying, but there was something about this girl that made her want to spill all her secrets. "No use of the car for a couple weeks, grounded apart from school sanctioned activates and a very lengthy lecture about responsibility."

Maya giggled. A beautiful sound, Emily thought, something she could very easily listen to all day. Together they gathered and sorted the fallen paper until it was back into its neat pile in Maya's arms. Then Maya raised a curious eyebrow.

"And where are you off to? Not ditching?"

Emily felt herself blush under the other girl's gaze, glad that her complexion helped to hide the new colour in her cheeks. Again, she considered lying, but then shook her head. "Wanna come with?"

There wasn't even a moment pause before Maya agreed.


	10. The tease

A cold sweat had broken out over Spencer's skin. Her heart fluttered irregularly in her chest like a dying bird. Air caught in her throat. A heavy nausea twisted her stomach into knots. She could hear Hanna shuffling along the hallway, growing ever closer, but she could do nothing to drag her eyes away from the sight before her.

Lying in the centre of her bed, on a pillow and surrounded by a multitude of different colour flower petals, was a bottle of pills. There was a note attached, folded into the shape of a heart.

"Hey Spence," Hanna muttered. "Have you got any food?"

Spencer clamped her open mouth shut, backed out of the room and slammed the door with more force than she had really intended. Hanna looked at her wide eyed and tilted her head in curiosity. She offered the blonde what she hoped was a strong smile and then bundled her friend away and back down the stairs.

"Yeah, there's food in the kitchen. Come on, I'll make you something."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, come on."

"I'm gonna fall down the stairs!"

Spencer paused, let go of Hanna, and clutched the handrail of the stairs. The blonde looked at her through narrowed eyes, but didn't press. They made their way slowly into the kitchen. Spencer's thoughts were consumed by images of the pill bottle. She went through the motions of making a sandwich without really taking any conscious notice of what her hands were doing. They were shaking, and the butter knife clattered against the countertop. She swore under her breath.

It took ten minutes for her to make the sandwich and place it before Hanna. It was cut lopsidedly, one half bigger than the other, with the smaller half having considerably more filling than the larger half.

Hanna looked at Spencer through her eyelashes so that she wouldn't notice. She took a bite of the sandwich to be polite and studied her friend carefully. In her head she was surrounded by dark thoughts and flashes of skin and sweat but by staring at Spencer she could focus. There were large, dark circles beneath the girl's eyes, and she was shaking like a nervous chihuahua. It was a startling image to see. So different to the composed girl she had known.

"Are you okay?"

"What?" Spencer wouldn't make eye contact with her. "Yeah – eat your sandwich, I'll be right back."

It was a dream. It wasn't a hallucination. When Spencer reopened the door to her bedroom the pills were still there, still surrounded by the petals and the heart shape note. She picked up the note with two fingers, like it was going to come alive and bite her.

 **A present for the smart one**

 **-A**

A? Allison?

A wave of nausea struck her so hard she dropped the note and fell to her knees. A little part of her hoped that Hanna hadn't heard the bang. She swallowed hard. In the next minute she had opened the bottle and swallowed two of the pills.

Her eyes closed as she waited for the relief.

…..

Maya had taken Emily's hand as they walked, swinging their arms between them in time with every step. Every nerve in her hand felt like fire. She was aware of every curve, dip and pore on the girls hand. Heat flushed into her face and, not for the first time, she was glad the colour of her skin helped to hide it.

"Where are we going?"

Emily's attention was brought back to Maya with whiplash speed. "Sorry, what?"

Maya giggles. "Where are we going? Do the jocks have some secret, sport-themed spot in town somewhere?"

A small smile tugged at her lips. "I hadn't actually thought that far ahead."

They walked in silence for a few more blocks, no destination in mind. The sun bared down, pleasantly warm, on their faces. Skipping school had put a tingle of excitement in Emily's stomach that made her feel as though anything was possible. She felt braver. More prepared for the world. The way that holding Maya's hand made her feel wasn't worrying, but exciting.

"Let's go to mine," she said out of the blue. "My Mom got a job at the prescient, she'll be gone all day."

Maya glanced at her curiously, but then her face broke out into a wide smile. "Sure."

From where they were it only took them fifteen minutes to make it to Emily's front door. She held the door open for Maya, revelling in how close the girl had to be to pass her. Her perfume was fruity and fresh, and it passed in a cloud that lingered for seconds after Maya had moved. Emily closed her eyes and inhaled.

 _What are you doing?_

Her eyes snapped open. What _was_ she doing?

"What shall we do?"

Emily flicked her eyes up to Maya, standing in the centre of her living room. Her jeans hugged her hips and thighs in a way that made Emily feel a little weak. Her eyes must have lingered just a little bit too long because Maya cleared her throat, her eyes trained carefully on Emily.

Maya closed the gap between them and offered a hand. Before Emily could stop herself, she interlocked her fingers and followed the girl back across the room. She allowed herself to be towed to the sofa and the pair sat at opposite ends, linked only by their arms stretching across the furniture.

"Do you want to watch TV?" Emily asked, if only to break the silence.

"No."

"Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Are you thir…"

"No Emily."

The distance closed slightly between them. Emily became very aware of every movement that Maya was making. Aware of the sweat on the palm of her hand. Aware of Maya's intense stare.

"Relax."

The distance closed more. Maya was barely more than a foot away now. Emily could feel heat radiate from how close their legs were.

 _Where's your boyfriend Em?_

"Shut up," she mumbled.

Maya tilted her head. "What?"

"Ah… no you…"

She smiled. It was beautiful. It was different. It was like nothing she'd ever seen before. Nerves began to set in. It was like the very act of telling her to relax had set every muscle on red alert for danger. Her hand fidgeted in Maya's. Her leg bounced in time with her pounding heart. Her eyes began to dart around the room, looking at anything except for the girl sitting across from her.

Her attention was recaptured by Maya placing her free hand on her thigh.

"Relax jock," she muttered. "Just… breathe."

Maya's lips were soft. Nothing like the rough kisses that she'd received from various boys over the years. They tasted sweet. As Maya's hands moved their way to her waist they left a trail of fire on her skin. Her eyes fluttered closed as she returned the kiss. For the first time ever, she wanted nothing else but to stay here, to kiss this girl and to never stop.

 _Ben._

Ben.

Ben!

She yanked herself away, leaving Maya stunned in her wake. Emily jumped off the sofa like she'd been electrocuted.

"I'm…" she swallowed. "I'm just going to go upstairs for a second, there's… there's food in the fridge, help yourself."

She trotted up the stairs before Maya could reply. The door to her bedroom was already open but she paid no attention to it, barely even noticed. She just wanted to get somewhere where she could let her cheeks cool and allow her thoughts to order themselves in private.

Air was cool in her lungs as she inhaled, and shaky as she exhaled. Thirty seconds later her hands stopped trembling and she opened her eyes.

Sat in the middle of her bed, surrounded by multicoloured rose petals was a box, and a note. She tilted her head in confusion. The box itself was plain grey, but the note was folded into the shape of a heart. Instantly she assumed that Ben had set this up. This thought had guilt twisting in her stomach.

 _Guilt about what, Em?_

It was so unlike him though. Romantic gestures were never something he had ever done. Unless your idea of romantic was asking before touching you. She was curious though, thoughts of Maya temporarily removed from her mind.

The box was made of a soft silk material that screamed expensive taste. She fondled it for a moment before flipping the lid open.

Her heart dropped into her feet.

Nestled in a little black cushion was a silver chain necklace. At its end, painted with a pink and purple enamel, were two interlocking symbols for female. The box fell out of her hands and clattered to the floor. A cold sweat beaded on her forehead. Emily ripped open the note.

 **I thought it would look nice with your new identity**

 **-A**

…..

The building that housed Rosewoods best and brightest therapists was made of red brick and had snaking tendrils of wall climbing plants literally everywhere. At the front there was a door sandwiched between two massive windows on either side. Through them you could see the receptionist desk, a small café and a lift that probably led to the other floors. The receptionist herself was blonde, and thin, with black, half-moon glasses perched on her nose. Either side of the desk were tall, green plants. Though from outside you couldn't tell if they were real or fake.

Bile filled Aria's mouth as she took in every detail.

She forced herself to walk through the door and up to the woman. Her blonde hair was scrapped back into a pretty severe bun. It looked really uncomfortable. The silence stretched on just long enough for it to become awkward.

"Excuse me," Aria said.

The receptionist didn't look up. "Name?"

"Montgomery, Aria."

There was some furious typing, and then the woman plucked her phone from the desk and barked a few words too fast for Aria to make sense of. "You can wait over there." She pointed, still not looking up.

Aria followed her direction and sat in a hard-plastic chair against the opposite wall. She watched people walking by, praying that not one of them noticed that she was sitting there.

She didn't have to wait long before the women told her what floor to go to. Neither girl looked at the other as Aria scurried past to the lift. Floor eight, Doctor Anne Sullivan.

Unlike the lobby area, Dr. Sullivan's office was warm, and inviting. Bright and colourful paintings lined one of the walls, and a bookshelf with a variety of books, not just medical journals, stood against the opposite wall. At the far end was a desk, with a tall brunette sat behind it. In front, and taking up the centre of the room, were two blue sofas', and a coffee table.

"Aria?" The woman's smile was warm and inviting. "Please, take a seat, I'll just be one moment."

Aria nodded and curled herself up at one end of one of the sofas. She spent the time studying the woman who was supposed to be her therapist. She was middle aged, maybe forty, with soft features and a seemingly permanent half smile. If she had to have a therapist, Aria supposed it could have been worse.

After another moment Dr. Sullivan placed down her pen and joined her on the other sofa. "So, welcome to your second session."

Aria snorted. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, therapy can be difficult. Your notes here say that you were being seen by Dr. Einarsson. I've never met him myself, but judging by his picture on Google he seems like a somewhat boring individual."

This drew a small giggle from Aria, which only encouraged Dr. Sullivan to continue. She asked routine questions and for various bits of clarification from the notes from Iceland. For the majority of the session Dr. Sullivan stayed clear of the deep personal questions that had caused so much anxiety. Being back in Rosewood and brought back every feeling of the Before, and Iceland was supposed to have been her After.

"So," she said so a lot. "Now that that is all out of the way. How was your day?"

Aria was so thrown by the question that at first, she was completely silent. The silence was a mistake, because in the second moment the silence was replaced by memories jogged by that question. Ezra flooded her brain. Ezra pushing her against the barroom bathroom wall. Ezra kissing her in the classroom at school. Ezra's hands on her skin and his lips on her neck.

Then thoughts of betrayal. Her Mother airing her dirty laundry all over the school. The looks of pity that she didn't even know were pity from all of the teachers. It was only a matter of time before the students found out too. Only a matter of time.

"Aria?"

"Sorry," she coughed. "Yeah. Everything was fine."

Dr. Sullivan's eyes lingered on her for just a fraction too long before noting something down on her clipboard. "Okay, what about coming home?"

The muscles in Aria's jaw tensed. This was travelling into dangerous territory. Suddenly the conversation that had seemed so easy was escaping her.

"I have to go."

"But Aria we still have time."

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Aria…"

"I have to go."

She was off like a shot from the sofa. The receptionist didn't even flinch as she sprinted passed her.

She was so concerned with getting away that when she didn't notice the girl until she had barrelled straight into it. Half way through her apology she noticed the blonde hair and the familiar eyes but then the girl was gone, taking the rest of her sentence away with her.


	11. Execution

She hid the pills in the bottom drawer of her bed side table. Already she was feeling better, if slightly nauseous. What concerned her now, was the note that had come with her present. A? Allison? There's no way that it could be. Could it?

 _Never found the body though did they._

It was an insane thought. But not an impossible one. Spencer took in a long breath and let it out slowly. She began to feel lightheaded.

"Spence? Aria's here!" Hanna yelled.

Her eyes snapped open. She gave one last, lingering look toward her hidden secret and walked out the door. Shoulders back, head high, composed and in control.

The girls were sat at the kitchen island. Hanna had finished the sandwich she'd made, but she imagined more to be polite than because she'd actually enjoyed it. However, she looked a little more like herself. Instead of hunching in on herself, she was sat straight, animatedly talking at Aria like nothing was even happening.

Aria, on the other hand, looked hollow, and pale. Worse than she had the previous night. Spencer felt an incredible desire to bundle her up in bubble wrap. She shook her head. What was going on here? When did they become the people that things like this happen to?

"How are you feeling?"

"Better," Hanna swallowed. "Spence, please don't tell anyone."

The panic in Hanna's eyes was made all the clearer. Apparently, she had mistaken it for life in her eyes. Spencer rubbed her temples, the beginnings of a headache forming. The obvious answer to all this was to tell an adult. To tell literally anyone. Who was she to deal with rape and depression? Or, her thoughts returned to the pills upstairs, a drug addiction.

 _Admitting you have a problem is the first step darling._

"We have to tell someone Hanna."

Aria shook her head. "Who says we have to tell anyone anything? Whose business is it anyway? Everything will be fine. She just has to not go back."

"He's a _police officer_ ," Spencer hissed the last two words. "I mean, have you even seen a doctor?"

"No."

Spencer through up her hands. "Come on, we are going right now."

Both the two girls shook their hands in sync. The movement was violent, and fear fuelled. The feeling of being trapped enveloped Spencer. If nothing else, she would take care of this, of them. Even if that meant kicking Hanna straight through the door of the hospital.

Then she remembered the knowing look that Wren had given her. He had seen her for all of ten minutes, and had guessed it all. What would happen if she walked into a building full of doctors? Would they know?

Hanna had been speaking, but Spencer hadn't been listening.

"Okay," she held up her hands. "Fine. We won't go." Relief flooded their faces. "But, I'm calling Wren."

They tilted their heads to the side. The movement was in sync. It was almost funny. "Wren?"

Spencer fished her phone out of her picket and flicked through her contact list. Wren was right at the bottom. Her thumb hovered over the call button for just a moment before dialling. Before she could change her mind. Before the girls could stop her.

He answered on the second ring. "Spencer?"

"Did you mean it when you said I could count on you?"

"Absolutely," he said without a thought. "What's the matter?"

She considered explaining over the phone, but her throat seized around the words and formed a lump. "Come over."

"I'll be fifteen minutes."

Spencer hung up the phone and glanced at the rapidly paling faces of her friends. Her hands shook by her sides.

…..

Detective Darren Wilden lived in a house that screamed normality. It had a well-kept lawn and a white fence around the edge. That was apparently the extent of any gardening that took place, but that wasn't surprising. Mona didn't imagine that a male police officer had much time to develop a green thumb.

The fence was just high enough to keep a large German Shepard confined within it. The dog posed a problem, she thought, but not one that would set her back too much.

She was sitting in a car on the corner away from the house. From there she had an almost unobstructed view of the building, but was confident that, if he was to look, that she wouldn't be noticed.

 _What's your plan?_

"I'm going to hurt him."

 _How?_

"Not sure yet."

Absent minded, she added more notes to the paper in front of her. It included the times she'd seen him enter and exit the house – which happened a lot more than she would have expected given the fact he was supposed to be working – and any neighbours she saw. She'd noted down the positions of windows, open areas, potential entrances and exits. A plan was beginning to form in her mind.

Then, before she could start putting her plan onto paper and fleshing it out, the passenger side door opened.

"Spencer?"

"How you doin' Mona?"

She stared, blinking, at the brunette beside her for almost a full minute. Spencer didn't react to this. Instead, she let Mona stare, and chose to study her nails while she waited. Slowly Mona folded her notes and tucked them away under her chair.

"Why are you here?"

Spencer looked up and smiled. There was something off about the way she smiled. It was crooked, and didn't reach her eyes. Even when Spencer was smiling at someone she didn't like, it was a genuine smile. This though, this was strange.

"I was wondering what you were doing here."

Mona turned her attention back to the detective's house for a moment before flicking her eyes back to the brunette. That's when she noticed the blond streaks in her hair.

"You're not Spencer."

The brunettes smile grew wider. "Clever girl."

…..

Wren arrived within ten minutes. He smiled warmly when he saw Spencer, his eyes sparkling. This expression dropped when he saw Aria and Hanna sat at the kitchen bar.

"What's going on?"

Spencer gestured to an empty seat, which he took without question. For the next twenty minutes she explained why she'd brought him here. Carefully, she avoided any mention of her own issues, and the pills upstairs. Aria had agreed to tell him about her, albeit reluctantly, and she filled in the gaps for her. Hanna's eyes grew wide at the new information, but she remained quiet, if only a testament to how badly it had affected her. To stay quiet was very unlike her.

Silence stretched between them. It wasn't uncomfortable, but neither was it a safe or comfortable silence. Wren clasped his hands on the surface, twiddling his thumbs. Thoughts swirled in his head. What had he gotten himself into? This wasn't at all what he had been expecting when Spencer had called. He wasn't sure what he had expected, but it wasn't this.

"Okay," he said. "Alright, what do you want me to do?"

"Hanna doesn't want to go to a doctor," Spencer mumbled. "Can you…?"

Realisation for what they were asking of him slowly dawned on him. His eyes flicked between each girl, all looking at him with a little hope, but mostly concern. Worried for what he was about to say, or do. There wasn't anything he could do for Aria other than to reiterate what Spencer had told her – therapy was a good thing, it would help, you only had to persist.

Hanna, on the other hand, was a different problem altogether.

"I agree with Spencer," he said, slowly, carefully. "You should go to a doctor."

"Aren't you a doctor?" Hanna said immediately. "Please, please don't make me go."

He sighed. "Technically, I'm only training, and Hanna – this is a serious thing. There isn't a lot I can do. Have you had a pregnancy test?"

The blonde's face paled. Pregnancy hadn't even crossed her mind. She shook her head.

"Okay," he breathed. "Have you got any here?" Spencer shook her head. "I'll go and get one… we'll go from there."

…..

Mona's entire body was frozen. It felt as though every bone in her body had turned to steel. Ice flowed through her veins instead of blood. Words escaped her. The person before her was the spitting imagine of Spencer, from jaw line to eye colour to body shape. If it weren't for the streaks in her hair, Mona wouldn't have been able to tell at all.

"It's a long, complicated and sordid tale," she said. "You could almost fill seven seasons of a TV show with it." She laughed, like Spencer, with less self-check. "I need a favour."

The muscles in Mona's jaw forced her mouth open. "What?"

"I need you to tell me everything you know about Spencer Hastings and those three friends of hers.


	12. Oh look, a plot line

"What the hell is that?"

"It's a needle Hanna," Spencer sighed.

Wren nodded slowly. "Store bought isn't going to cut it so soon after the… event. Even this might not pick anything up."

The blonde flicked her wide, panicked eyes alternatively between Wren and the needle he was fiddling with. "So why are we bothering?"

He glanced up. "It can detect things other than pregnancy," he said carefully. "Trust me, this is for the best."

Hanna swallowed back bile.

While the three of them were preoccupied, Aria was curling herself up on the sofa. She watched them through half closed eyes, but her thoughts were in another place entirely. They mostly replayed the memories of Ezra. His hands on her waist, on her chest, on her face. His stomach had a layer of soft fuzz on it, that circled his belly button and led her hands in one very interesting direction. There was a scar, on his chest just above his heart. She hadn't asked him about it. Hadn't wanted to know.

Had she been a little too harsh to the therapist? She had sprinted out of there like every demon in the underworld was after her. Maybe they were. She certainly couldn't shake the fear that something was watching her. Waiting for her in the dark. That whatever had…

 _Killed me?_

Bad things happened in the dark.

She swallowed and gazed out of the front window. The evening was setting in now, casting long shadows on the world outside. It felt claustrophobic. Like the entire world was getting smaller. Maybe it was. She was back in Rosewood, small town where everyone knows everyone else. Iceland had been a welcomed reprieve from this place – one she missed quite terribly.

Her lungs were constricting. She felt trapped, surrounded by her own demons and the demons of her friends. Spencer was hiding something. Even now, while the girl had all her attention on Hanna, she could see the shaking of her hands. The tense muscles in her necks. The bags under her eyes. Part of her had hoped that she would have returned the secret swapping favour when she'd spill hers about therapy. It hurt to think that maybe Spencer didn't trust her.

 _A year is a long time. I would know. You're practically strangers._

Aria gritted her teeth. Without arousing the suspicion of her friends, she slid past them and out of the front door. The air in Spencer's living room suddenly losing all it oxygen.

Without a destination, she began walking. The disappearing sun meant that outside was becoming much cooler than inside. She wasn't particularly dressed for it, so soon she was walking with her head down, arms wrapped around her chest.

"Aria!"

Spencer's voice sounded too loud in the quiet of the street. Aria stopped, and turned, watching the girl jog toward her in the half darkness.

"Hey," she said, once Spencer was close enough.

"Where are you going?"

Aria fiddled with the hem of her shirt. For a moment she considered lying. Spencer was holding something back, why couldn't she? But before she could make her decision, Spencer placed a hand on her arm.

"Are you okay?"

The taller girl stepped closer. Close enough that they were almost touching. Aria had to tilt her head backwards to look up into Spencer's brown eyes. Half of the girl's face was covered in shadows, but there was something weird about the way Spencer was looking at her, but Aria just couldn't put her finger on what that was.

"Aria?" Spencer pressed.

"Yeah… sorry I mean yeah," she said, spell broken. "I just needed a walk. Haven't been back for a month and it seems like everything's falling apart."

Spencer smiled sadly. "Let me walk you home?"

"What about Hanna?"

"Hanna?" there was a small hesitation. "She's still at the house. Melisa's boyfriend will take good care of her."

Before Aria could question that, Spencer looped her arm through hers and pulled them away. They walked in silence for a few minutes. Something was wrong here. Maybe she really was going crazy. It wouldn't surprise her. This was Spencer. _Spencer._ Why would anything be wrong?

Yet, she couldn't shake the building eerie feeling. There was a smell of something. It was familiar, but for some reason her mind was drawing a blank when it came giving the scent a name.

 _Get a grip tiny._

She inhaled deeply, drawing the cool evening air into her lungs.

Hair dye. Was that it?

...

Mona was back in her bedroom, door locked, and laptop opened. She had several different windows open. Some were open to various social media pages, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Others were filled with walls of white text and she searched the encrypted internet for the information she sought. Detective Wilden and her plan for revenge temporarily pushed aside by her new quest.

 _Alex Drake._

The resemblance between the girl and Spencer was uncanny. At first glance there was nothing to separate them. Not even a second, or a third look could make you suspicious. But Mona, Mona was a sixth look type of person.

There was a scar above Alex's eye, so faint you could barely see it. The way she held herself screamed self-esteem and casual confidence where Spencer would always stand in a manner that made her seem smaller. Alex had that ridiculous English accent and bright, intelligent eyes that had a darker, more sinister impression than Spencer's.

It had caused Mona's thirst for information into overdrive.

At first, she had been reluctant to share her information on the girls with the newbie. Who was this person to demand a playing piece on her board game? But then, she had decided, it might provide the perfect distraction while she swooped Hanna out from under them.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the beeping of her laptop. One window, opened to a program that was running a convoluted DNA analysis, was showing the blank white screen that indicated it was finished. A moment later, a blue box appeared in the middle: **Reveal**.

She clicked it, and the information is showed made her eyes grow huge.

 _Well,_ said the sultry voice of Allison. _That's certainly very interesting._

….

Once at her front door, Aria suddenly felt very unsure of herself. Spencer had been chatting away at her, mostly small talk nonsense, for the entire walk and it just didn't sit right in her stomach. It contrasted strongly with the sullen brunette she had been since her return from Iceland. She hesitated with her hand over the door handle.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked.

Aria glanced over her shoulder, offering what she hoped was a convincing smile. "Yeah, promise."

Spencer took a step forward so that they were barely a foot apart. The girl brushed a stand of Aria's hair from her face. "Everything's going to be just fine."

 _Maybe you really should attend your therapy sessions._

The raven-haired girl turned to face her friend and swallowed. She was just being ridiculous. Spencer had always been there for her. All their lives they'd been close. This was just her over thinking it. This was her guilt about Ezra. This was Allison's haunting presence in her life. This was just Spencer doing what Spencer does.

"I hope you're right."

Spencer's smile grew slightly wider and she pulled Aria into a hug. Aria buried her nose into the scruff of Spencer's jacket, hoping to inhale the comforting and familiar perfume that had been there through every hardship in her life. It only took her a few seconds to realise that scent was missing, and that there was a much more distinct smell radiating from the girl.

That was most definitely the scent of hair dye.

She jerked backwards suddenly. Her eyes sought the brown of her friends and she stared hard. Spencer furrowed her brow and tilted her head in a questioning motion.

"What's the matter?"

"When did you dye your hair?"

"What?"

"I can smell it on you."

For a moment that stretched for just long enough to cause tension in the air, Spencer just looked at the small girl. Then, as though the silence had never occurred, she laughed. "Dry shampoo, for the illusion of clean hair."

 _She's lying._

"You're lying."

Spencer's face grew darker. "Don't be ridiculous."

Those three simple words confirmed all that Aria was worried about. Never in her life had Spencer dismissed her so casually.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, and in the second that her gaze wondered away from the not-Spencer in front of her, the entire world went dark.


	13. Whoops

There was a pounding in her head and a ringing in her ears. It sounded as though the entire room was filled with little bells, all vying for her attention. Three time she commanded her eyes to open, but her body refused to obey her orders. There was a small groan, and it took a full five minutes to realise that the noise was coming from her own mouth. Was she hurt? She couldn't feel it. _Stop. Think. Where are you?_

On the fourth attempt at opening her eyes they finally obeyed. They were met with the familiar sight of her pale grey ceiling. She was in her bedroom. Feeling was slowly returning to her limbs, and other than the resounding thumping in her brain she felt no pain. _Not hurt then._ What had happened?

 _Sleepy beauty has awoken._

Aria shook the voice from her mind and immediately regretted it. The room span around her and she had to summon every ounce of strength within herself not to vomit all over the floor. She groaned again and rolled onto her side. On the table beside her bed was a glass of water and a note.

 _ **You passed out, so I brought you home, figured you'd want to wake up in your own bed**_

 _ **Spencer**_

Passed out? Aria didn't remember. The last thing she could think was that she had been on the sofa in Spencer's living room, listening to Wren and Hannah argue about a needle. After that, her memory was blank. Spencer had brought her home? Why?

Then she remembered the way her parents had reacted last time she had stayed out all night without telling them. Figuring that she had probably told Spencer this she was suddenly okay with the idea that she had been brought home. Bu why had she passed out?

The untouched pills behind the glass of water answered her questions. That might have had something to do with it.

She took three steadying breaths and heaved herself into a sitting position. There were two white aspirin pills beside the water. She took them gratefully, thankful for the wonderful human being that was Spencer Hastings, and glanced at the clock on the wall. Only seven, plenty of time to get up and dressed and to go… to school. The prison like building was the last place she wanted to be. On top f everything else, it housed Ezra, the very last person she wanted to see, and the very last thing she wanted to think about.

Instead of thinking about it she pulled her phone out and shot a text to Spencer.

 _ **Thanks S.**_

 _ **For what?**_ Came the instant reply.

 _ **Everything**_

They made plans to meet at the front of the school, but Aria wasn't completely sure she would be going in. Though really, how much more school could she miss in their first week before the world exploded. Her parents would never let her out of their sight ever again. God, they might even take her away again.

Suddenly the idea of missing more school didn't seem like such a bad idea.

She snorted, dressed quickly and left her room without another thought.

…

Spencer too was spending the morning staring at her ceiling. She traced the barely visible edges of the stars with her eyes, trying desperately to control the shaking in her hands. Her mind was filled with thoughts of Hanna and Wren. He had left only moments after finishing taking the blood from Hanna, promising that he would call as soon as he had any information. The colour had gone passed being drained from her face. It was as though Hanna had always been snow white, as if there had never once been colour in her cheeks.

Her thoughts were no concerned with this for very long. In the next moment they had flicked uncontrollably to the pills beneath her pillow. Her stomach turned, nausea rising in her chest. Part of her wanted to stop punishing herself for wanting them. The pills allowed her to stay on top. To be the very best that she can be. So, what if she needed the help. Everyone needs help sometimes.

 _Careful Spencer, that's a slippery spiral your thoughts are going down._

Spencer growled, took two of the pills and sat up. Her phone vibrated with a message from Aria. She was thanking her. She looked at it curiously, head tilted to one side. It had taken her a worryingly long time to notice that the girl had disappeared at all last night and hadn't even tried to find out if she was okay – too consumed with theories as to who A could be. If the pills allowed her to feel guilty then perhaps she would have. She replied, asking what Aria was talking about, and left it at that.

Her next priority was food. But she stopped before she left the room. She wasn't even hungry – going down for breakfast was just a motion born of habit. In fact, when was the last time she'd eaten? It concerned her greatly when she couldn't recall the last bit of food she'd eaten.

From her position by the door she could see herself in the full-length mirror across the room. Slowly she lifted the hem of her t-shirt up her side and was mortified to see the way her ribs poked out above her receding stomach. She dropped the hem as though it had burned her and shivered.

…..

"That was a stupid idea," Mona said from her position lounging in an armchair in the corner of the room.

Alex, as she now knew the girl as, was pacing before her, muttering under her breath and scowling. She even scowled like Spencer. It was eerie.

"Who smells hair dye and immediately assumes their friend is an imposter?" she asked. Whether or not the question was directed at Mona she didn't know, but Mona replied anyway.

"Aria has a thing for detail. It's important. I told you that already."

The brunette shot a glare across the room. She resumed her pacing furiously, screwing up her face as she argued with herself. Mona watched her with a curious expression. How could someone who looked so much like Spencer Hastings be so unlike her is personality. A twin no less. Identical twins for that matter. Really brought some interesting questions to the nature vs. nurture debate – she thought. That was a project for another time, however, she was far to interested in the potential outcomes of this before her to even consider coming up with her own scheme to test and experiment.

"What are you going to do?"

Mona's question drew Alex to a stop. She turned to the Raven haired girl and smiled. "I think we need to pay a visit to my sister."


End file.
